Saturday, July 24, 2004
I'M SORRY!!!!! I"M ALWAYS WRONG!!!! NEVER WAS PERFECT!!!!! I"M SORRY I WASNT GOOD ENOUGH!!!! I SUCK!!!!
sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry.............................so sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i suck la can?????life suck becuz i suck...i'm totally useless.... i am not good enough rite??????useless me!!! i suck once again!!! am a losser!!!!was told to end this but i dunn wan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!why you never have patients with me!!!!!!!!!! i'm always trying to change for you........but you're wanting me to be PERFECT!!!!!!!u always talk about how to sacrifice.....why cant you see mine????i've even lose aji as a friend....just to concentrate on you......i put you in first priority....frenz ask me out fer movie....rejected them....why???cuz i place you first...but you never see...wat i always do for you....i'm hanging on...still hanging on...dunno...sorry for not being good enough...wished you accepted me for who....you told me you did..you told me you will...but you lied...i still need to be perfect rite???dun worri....i'll live a lie....i'll pretend to be happy when you surprise...pretend to be happy when i'm sad.....jsut live a world of pretence cuz that's exactly the way you want me to be....PERFECT!haiz... i love you damn it...still will...always will....dunno....always telling me to be wat i am...telling me that's the way it should be....so i'm just obeying....but you hated it!! YOU HATED ME!!! for being me!!!! whY!!!!!!?????!!!!!!haiz....dunno....i hate myslelf....haiz...always sms u....like...sms to no one....sumtimes feel lonely...you're not there....feel neglected...you're not there....i accepted it all....never complain..sumtiems you fail....i accepted it....helped you with it...encourage you .....forgiven you....when i'm hot tempered?? i got scolded....got told i was aggrassive....you're still wanting me to change into your perfect girl..you lied to me again...saying i was the girl of your dreams...guess you dream was a nitemare...i wasnt perfect...you lie....if you say you didnt lie den why always wanting me to be perfect?????????i dun understand....i feel sucky....feel down!!! KEITH HELP ME!!! haiz...ya..he's helping me now...told maybe i shd end my suffering...but i'm willing to suffer....i still need you...but you never see....haiz...i'm holding on....pls help me.....stop pushing me.....i cant be perfect...but i'll try my best....even if it mean for me to do anything..i will...i'll lie... i'll pretend...i'll keep my pain and sorrow in me....i'll laugh at yer jokes... i help u all i can... i'd do anything for you....even if it means taking my life.... i will...seriously....if i cant be perfect enough...den no point living...shall end my life....so you wont habe to suffer....i'll burn again....cuz i'm not perfect....i hate myself for not bring gd enuff for you...and that i shall be punish and it shall scar me for life........thanks.....i love you.....thanks...i miss you...thanks....i'll hold on....thanks...for all this...thanks...i'll pretend...thanks... i'll be perfect.........thx......
just to make you happy
i shall pretend
hoping you'll still love me
and never have no end
need you here all the time
when i'm sad and lonely
thought you'll make it fine
but you talk so coldly
i'll try my very best
to reach your expectations
sorry i made your life a mess
so this poem is my dedication
i'm sorry for being so aggrassive
i didnt mean for that
but hope you'll try to belief
the hurtful things i said wasnt a fact
hope you wont be angry
with this post i wrote today
let's go back to what we used to be
growing stronger day by day
i dont want to fight with you anymore
caused i really love you
i'll always wait for your call
and my love for you shall always be true....
darling i'm sorry for all that i've done...please forgive me....i'll try to change kayz...let's end this shit today....
