Monday, August 02, 2004
haiz.....still hurting....such a sickling....had thoughts of not going to school...decided to....changed class...now aint gonna walk up till fourth level...good...h.m.m.m.carry loads of books down till ground floor...hurt my back...suffered back and stomach pains...suffering...haiz...well..utterly upset today...chem could really score...but due to wrong triangles...whole thing went totally wrong...damn...haiz...what a waste...i'm such an ass....well..got back my english results...really unhappy....could have done better...haiz...lack of sleep...then because of this was so sleepy...only aim was to write my composition and letter of complaint as fast...in the end lost marks in complaint letter...forgotten to write address...and date...and from who..and to who...damn..was so blured...what a waste again...extremly disappointed...haiz....well...got back chinese results too...was ask to stay back and study in order to pass....regreted being lazy and not studying...haiz...not really sad about this...knew i was responsible...damn...today is so saddening...cant stand today...now waiting...for mich..pass my empty disc...then gonna call misha...help her burn songs...then pass to her...haiz....so tiring...wasnt able to go out and enjoy....starving now...lucky aunt bought bread...now munching ....hm.m.m not really filling...but contented....haiz....read somthing today...felt really broken when i saw it...haiz..shall not go there...not gonna talk about this at all...not even to keng...still living in a world of pretend...haiz...shall hide all emotion...and gonna PRETEND...once again...haiz...a clown with black tears....hurt....pain....crying on the inside....wondering to myslef why...haiz...really upset...haiz...know it's doesnt really mean anything to anyone and it's always viewed as unimportant or small...but to be small stuff adds up to create big stuff....haiz...shall let this heartach pass....decide to forget misery....i chose to be happy today..so i shall be...even though it means to hide away from this ugly picture...what i read that made me sad...i wish i never knew...i wish it was told to me...rather then i find it out myself...