Sunday, July 03, 2005
haiz.. my mind says to me that it's over.. but my heart says otherwise... which should i believe? i always follow my heart.. but it takes me to a broken place.. where should i go? what should i do? should i continue to hope.. or shall i let go and move on.. but it aint easy.. cuz i dont want it to be easy.. anyway.. i guess you really wan us to be over.. haiz.. i have to surpress my tears.. family around.. cant cry.. hurts not too.. just weep away in the heart.. with no one here for me..it's no point hoping and crying that you will start to realise what you've just let go.. i knoe i'm not very much treasured.. haiz.. i dont knoe how to move on.. my motivation in study all is going down.. aint no meaning to life anymore.. shall just waste it all away.. cant believe this is happening.. i dont understand.. maybe i should have not let myself fall so hard for you.. then it wont be so painful right now... look at me.. i look fine.. but i'm broken inside.. no one saw my sorrow.. not even you.. i wish someone to shoot me in the heart and tell me it's over for me in love.. i dont wanna love again.. cuz everytime i do.. the guy breaks my heart.. each step i take the earth breaks..and i fall to the pit.. maybe i should really end myself.. there's no meaning of living on.. no point no goal.. haiz.. i dont no what my heart wans to do.. maybe i'm just hopelessly devoted to you.. but it's cruel to my heart... the scar is still here... and everytime people ask me about it.. i have to lie.. but the pain of why i did it still stands.. cant hide away from it.. till the end of my life the scar remains.. and shall never forget why it was there... all i wan to let you know is that i will always love you even when i'm gone away from this world.. i hope the girl you find will love you as much as i'm always loving you.. maybe you cant see it in me.. but maybe with her.. you can see... i knoe you no longer love me as much.. even if you do.. it's like a small bit only.. i'm just sorry if i have wasted a period of your time.. it's time for me to get off of this face of the earth.. goodbye my love.. shall always love you.. hope you find happiness without me..